The Financial Crisis

[helicopterjim R.I.P.]

The financial crisis explained in simple terms:

 

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

 

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar.

 

Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.

 

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.

 

He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

 

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed.

 

Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

 

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.

 

However they cannot pay back the debts.

 

Heidi cannot fulfil her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.

 

DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %.

 

The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation.

 

Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.

 

The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.

 

The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied against the non-drinkers.

 

Finally an explanation I understand . . .

[raz]

Top notch

[grossohc]

Ah, now i get it , do you think i should invest in puke

[gstallons]

I can simplify this crap.

lazy greedy pricks who don't work for a living have f****d up everything.

[Paul Minnaert]

I get it, it's all Heidi's fault.

[gstallons]

Nope.... It's 14k greed.

[doug m]

What would Adolph have done?.....send them off to camp!

[gstallons]

He invaded the adjoining countries and took everything the banks and museums had. When the war was over the Allies liberated (into their pockets)everything Adolph had foraged.

[helicopterjim R.I.P.]

He invaded the adjoining countries and took everything the banks and museums had. When the war was over the Allies liberated (into their pockets)everything Adolph had foraged.

 

So who do we have to knock off to liberate everything to line our pockets? Just where is the money?

[Guest ratchethack]

Just where is the money?

Ask Algore. It's all going into the Great Carbon Trading Global Extortion Scam.

 

Here's the link to Algore's "Invstment Company" Generation Investment Trust, and it's "Mission and Values" page:

 

http://www.generationim.com/about/mission.html

 

It's already made him a small, soon to be vast, fortune. . .

 

[dabore84]

So who do we have to knock off to liberate everything to line our pockets? Just where is the money?

 

 

There was no money in the first place. Just an air bubble. There was no real value, it was imaginary, etc... It was #@$&@#@ up by the people which handled other peoples money, got their piece of the pie and weren't controlled by the government, but bailed out by the same government.

 

It's all a fucking joke.

 

Jon Stewart best moments

 

PS whats with #@$&@#@. Aren't we allowed to curse just a little?

[helicopterjim R.I.P.]

Ask Algore. It's all going into the Great Carbon Trading Global Extortion Scam. <_>

 

Paid for by the non-drinkers!! Or is that the non-believers?

[belfastguzzi]

I can simplify this crap.

lazy greedy pricks who don't work for a living have f****d up everything.

If you can stand a bit of a read

here is the financial crisis observed and explained.

[Steve G.]

Painted with a very big brush of course, but the last 8 yrs have been nothing but a government backed pyramid. It was bound to crumble.

Steve

[DeBenGuzzi]

I'm just really pissed because I saw this coming and I'm no genius, I had looked at some of the numbers years ago but didn't understand them that how can one investment company own all these chuncks of other investment companies and why are all the guys on the board directors of other investment companies, I could see with my untrained eye it was a big fix, pryamid, scam of a national if not global scale. Ultimatly I'm happy they're falling hard I'm mad its hurting the little guys more but personally I knew I was paying about 40-50K too much for my house and did my best to not overpay but when I bought it 4 years ago I had no choice I needed a house and did my best a nice 1&half story 1600sq house in the burbs for 184K which two years prior the previous owners paid about 164 and 2 years before that paid about 124!!! and today is worth maybe 140.

some of my friends told me I was crazy that the market wont bust or it will correct but way down the road and I was like, listen, I make good money for the middle class at 50k and I can BARELY f'n afford a 200k house, how the F! can you expect average joe america who makes less than me on average to afford a 200k house which was just about MIN on any house unless in the real bad parts just a few years ago, 200k is no starter house and I was scoffed at, look whos laughing now, alllll the way to the bank cause those friends of mine have 300k+ homes they can't afford that are worth about 200k or a little less.

but I'm also mad at myself for not preparing for it more, its funny I started going to college for computers in 99 and within like fricken months the market crashed, I buy a house and well I got about 2 years but it was starting to faulter when I got this one, I have terrible luck in life but life can always be worse I have a good family 2 italian motorcycles and a pretty secure job in alcohol. Heidi also has to pay cash on delivery, state law