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Ralph Werner

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Posts posted by Ralph Werner

    Jokes

    in Special place for banter and conversation

    Posted

    A man calls home and another man answers.

     

    "Who are you?" asks the husband.

     

    "I'm the maintenance man".

     

    "Where's my wife?"

     

    "Upstairs in bed with some guy"

     

    "I can't believe it! Listen, get a large pipe, knock them both out cold and dump their bodies in the backyard pool so it looks like an accident. I'll make it worth your while".

     

    The husband hears some thuds and then more thuds. Suddenly the voice comes back on the Phone.

     

    Maintenance man: "Hey, there isn't any pool in the backyard"

     

    Husband: "Wait - is this 465-3009?"

    Jokes

    in Special place for banter and conversation

    Posted

    First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow.

     

    They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body."

     

    For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.

     

    "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone finished gagging and coughing, the Professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger."

     

    "Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid."

     

    We did a similar thing way back when I was in veterinary school at Penn - except we had a live female student under the sheet, not a dead cow! :bier:

     

    Man, those Aggies are not playing with a full deck! :D:D

    Riots threatened! Global Warming must be STOPPED IMMEDIATELY!

    in Special place for banter and conversation

    Posted

    For those of you with an interest in this controversy a new book is out called "Climate of Extremes".

     

    It is written by an Arizona State University professor of climatology - Robert Balling - and a professor of environmental science from the University of Virginia - Patrick Michaels.

     

    Prominent scientists have given the book very good reviews. It counters political hype and pseudoscience with a critical scientific look at available evidence.

     

    It's not as good as "Diary of a Mad Guzzisti" but then again, nothing is! :D:D

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