Holiday Recipe

[Guest ratchethack]

As we approach the holidays, much of the Northern Hemisphere is snowed-in, and/or frozen-out. In this case, the following recipe may be served as appetizing (or otherwise ) food for thought by the fireside.

 

For the rest of us, where the roads still beckon , here's a recipe you might find "just right" for your holiday baking schedule.

 

I call it, Asphalt Backstroke Souffle'

 

ingredients

 

2 parts Stock Guzzi .6 kg/mm fork springs (the more sacked-out, the better)

 

2 parts stock fork spacers

 

4 parts too much preload on rear shock to compensate for weak spring

 

3 parts too much compression damping to compensate for weak springs front & rear

 

1 part >40% laden sag on front fork

 

2 parts rider weight over 160 lb. (over 200 lb. for earlier, more frequent, more spectacular results)

 

1 part rough "stutter bump" surface, (frost heaves will do nicely in a pinch)

 

1 part high-speed sweeper

 

1 part under-inflated or over-worn tire (front, rear, or both - chef's choice)

 

3 parts steering damper rooted, turned off, or removed

 

5-10 gal. high-octane fuel

 

Blend ingredients well, bake for several days of spirited riding, mix in liberal applications of throttle. Finally, when the ingredients seem to have reached an even consistency, fold in a large dollop of trail braking on uneven surfaces to taste. Seems to serve an amazingly large party.

 

Voila! Your classic Asphalt Backstroke Souffle'!

 

It's a historically "festive" recipe for any motorcycle, but since the V11 in particular is so notoriously undersprung from the factory, and evidently so few riders pay adequate attention to chassis setup, this recipe has everything it needs but it's own bake timer, so you never know when it could "go off". Garnish to taste with chef's own Insurance Group and ID numbers.

 

Check your chassis setup and ride carefully, Gents!

 

My most sincere wishes for a SAFE and most joyous season to all on the Forum!

 

RH

 

EDIT: For anyone who might have been offended by any connection of this *somewhat sarcastic* post with the Christmas holiday, please accept my apologies. I meant no offense whatsoever. I can see how this could be interpreted as being in bad taste. It was only a silly attempt to use humor as a reminder, in the hopes that someone might give further thought to riding safety at this time of year. In order not to offend those who celebrate this holiday as a blessed and sacred event, I've edited out the prev. references to Christmas.

[dlaing]

...and don't eat anything with black icing! (we know the Scuristas will be tempted)

[emry]

Mmmmm.... icing.....