Alright, more than willing to help altough maybe this could be more effective in Italian (Antonio, please help out here). In any case I have found Dutch to be the perfect swearing language, I might be a bit biassed but my Australian work mates seem to agree with me and have changed to Dutch swearing, since productivity has gone up and no harressment in the workplace issues have been reported!
Important to note here is that Dutch is a very poetic language, a total of 107 words have been recorded for the female genital alone...
Anyway from my personal experience for electrical problems such as instrument cluster lights or mysterial electrical gremlins:
Vieze vuile gore uitdebaarmoedergeslingerd Kutding krijg de vliegetering.. seems to always do the trick!
Mechanical problems usually get solved with...
Gore slettebak... ( screwdriver thrown into the ground when doing this, preferably an old one will do wonders here to)
Pretty sure Jaap, Paul and Antonio will share their own tips on this subject!
Ok I'd better get back to my exploded Vespa VBB clutch, swearing didn't help there!
Ciao
Jasper