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Update: All fixed! Finally had some time to get back to the project, have been busy at work and riding the Tour of Texas and other activities so the Scura was sitting waiting for attention. Anyway, a few weeks ago at Gstallons recommendation I took my fuel injectors to get reconditioned...that was excellent advice and both were in need of it, but the left one in particular was quite under performing vs. the right one. All of the other items, wires, coils all checked out nicely with no need to replace but I had bought spares anyway just in case. At any rate, after all kinds of fun cleaning the throttle bodies once they were off, sorting out stripped screws on several of the mounting spots, putting in new hex head screws where appropriate, I got it all re-assembled, set the new TPS adjusted properly at 157 mv fully closed with throttle disconnected, high idle screw loose and idle screw backed out (TPS measures 4.78v at WOT w/o linkage connected) and the tuning began again. What I found: The air bleed screws needed to be set differently from left vs. right and in all of my previous attempts I had kept them identical as per all of the prior write ups. Playing with each of the settings and watching the results on the Carbtune, despite cleaning the throttle bodies thoroughly and the bleed screws as well, there's some inherent mismatch on the throttle bodies, that with an extra 1.5 turns out on the RHS vs. LHS, they balance perfectly at idle without the throttle body linkage connected and it idles beautifully and no cough either. I managed to set the idle screws at almost identical levels as well w/o the linkage connected using a feeler gauge technique Gstallons had recommended. Once the connecting rod was reconnected and dialed in until just one or two threads were showing from the locknut vs. the plastic cup, the bike maintained its balance at idle and was perfectly balanced also at 3k RPM's on the Carbtune. Well...off on a test run we go, around the block seems perfect, so let's go for a longer run. A 100 miles later on a cold Houston day, and it's absolute perfection, beautifully smooth, not a single cough of any sort, and feels like much lower vibrations than before. Dare I say it runs better than before...I believe so. Will get some more runs on it over the next day and weeks and hopefully it stays as good as today. Big thanks to all and especially Gstallons for the time we spent on the phone...hopefully it's set and I can rack up some more miles on it now!

Can't "like" that, @gstallons. I, too, have that affliction, but, as it's on the mild side, I find that aspirin cuts it (enough) to push through. My right wrist is the way more painful of the pair, following a "I laid 'er down" event in 2003. I was attempting to pass an old red pickup on that sweet stretch of ridge-top pavement on Alab. SR 281 near Cheaha S.P. -- yes, flashed lights and tapped horn -- when said bubba turned left without warning of any kind. Told me it was his "reg'lar turn'round point." Bent my right thumb all the way back! Yes, that hurt some. Then rode the EV to a friend's house in Anniston. Said friend's wife was a RN, and he a bourbon aficionado. A nice combo. OK, must go on with (related) Paul Harvey. So, had surgery. Seemed to go well. Then, after wearing cast for a bit, I went in for a checkup. You know it's a bad sign when the doc's assistant starts to heave when she removed the first cast. Next thing I knew, I was in an ambulance headed to the hospital! In the prep for surgery #2, the anesthesiologist -- a stunning darling of a woman who looked (at least in my memory and retelling) like Andie McDowell right out of Groundhog Day -- asked me if there was anything I wanted. I passed over what I wanted to say , and came up with a lame "How about a beer?" She responded with "Let's make it a six pack," and punched the button. Lights out. OK, back to writing that speech on 19th century military law. Call me if you are suffering from insomnia along with arthritis. Bill

Black oxide conversion coating is good for corrosion protection, cheaper than cadmium plating, but not as good. Still, it is good enough.

A glarish bright orange Kubota or an understated grey V100 Aviazione Navale Hmmm Kathi would understand I’d wager

Back when I was a kid of 60 or so, I still rode during the Winter with heated gear. In my dotage, I've decided I'll never do that again.. but.. I put a 12V receptacle in my little home built aeroplane just in case.

An older post, but sage advice! And it's also important to realize that the further one deviates into custom territory, the less shared experiences and advice are available to iron out the details. I've learned to live by and offer similar advice to those first acquiring a vintage home, keen to immediately begin changing everything... to instead take a breath and live with the house for a little while. They may soon begin to like it for what it is, and realize that changing it would forever undo what was unique and special about it.

They make em but its not on their site..I had a set made last year..and the year before, you have to call them and ask them to look in their "special orders" file they will find the template there and then they can makethem...

This comment actually brings something to light (I wish I'd thought that pun) that I hadn't considered; The editorial I linked to says, without saying, that an inappropriate lamp makes ineffective use of the reflector and that prevents the light 'getting where it's needed'. BUT. What if I never ride at night? What if I ride at night only in the city, or only below 45mph? I might make the argument that having more wasted light, or glare to oncoming traffic, is actually safer under these conditions.

Failing memory says the Titanium ECU is the same except just a little richer across the board.

Bill, I promise to capture the moments of the inaugural sKSR (spring Kentucky SpineRaid).

I dropped off the Greenie for a new rear tire, brakes, et al., was told the torque rod bolt in the rear suspension was sheared and was holding on by a nub. I don't know if this is common, perhaps it's worth checking. I know I never looked at it. FYI

He seems to really like the bike, giving it an 8.5 out of 10. But it is funny to hear him complain about the transmission, especially about finding/determining what gear it is in. This is funny to me in general because new motorcycles have so many electronic aids such as ABS, traction control, ride modes, and gear indicators... none of which I've ever experienced, and never needed, especially a gear indicator. Why? I wouldn't mind the safety features such as ABS and traction-control/ride-modes, but I've always thought things like gear indicators were a bit funny, on cars or bikes, and laugh when younger riders review and find older bikes to be archaic or difficult (in their minds) to ride without those features I FINALLY RIDE A MOTO GUZZI AND IT'S...

I had that discussion with the dealer owner. He made a point that the V85tt and V9 had few quality problems and only a couple of minor recalls. I think I'd be less afraid of this one than anything they've done in years. My concern is all the electrics and they seem to have a good record considering the Aprillia shared stuff.

Giuseppe just omitted a couple of important components to his roster: Passion (ours), Charisma (Gooz). I have ridden many insipid motorcycles; like everyone else here. I like that my Guzzi is like myself: imperfect... or rather, perfectible... The assessment is correct that Guzzi drops the ball in Quality Assurance. But as we say in my language: un homme averti en vaut deux or forewarned is forearmed in English. Some of us enjoy the DIY. It can be costly, but at our age, we need to do something with our money. I have decided that I will most likely not go V100, not because I am afraid of quality control. I will stay with old air cooled Guzzi for as long as I can.

Here is the TechSpec special order part number for V-11's SKU: 62-Cust-SS

That shift indicator statement reminded me of a sarcastic story I read of a BMW rider that rode the Iron Butt in first gear because his shift indicator read 6 .

"Italy's Bonneville " . . . "But a Guzzi Guy . . . is quite strange. " "Guzzi People, you're in your own special camp. "

okay, here it is:

I guess @cory464 never checked back in here, but he did post two videos about the bike, which seems like it turned out OK in the end

That's my recollection, in that there isn't anything special about the Titanium ECU other than the map. That being said, just from general commentary over the years, I suspect that MG improved the map for the V11 over time, and of course the Titanium ECU map is designed for less restrictive exhaust. So if someone has a mostly stock bike but has added aftermarket exhaust; then fitting a Titanium ECU might bring some benefit without any other tuning required. There are several 15M ECUs on eBay right now, but they aren't super economical .... $250-400 USD https://www.ebay.com/itm/185592596015 https://www.ebay.com/itm/354318739657 https://www.ebay.com/itm/385336886636 https://www.ebay.com/itm/134240411894 https://www.ebay.com/itm/325019203606 https://www.ebay.com/itm/266040614266 https://www.ebay.com/itm/233774096054 https://www.ebay.com/itm/275394471973 https://www.ebay.com/itm/134424660805 https://www.ebay.com/itm/404090126889 https://www.ebay.com/itm/403680485458

I am gonna be there . It might be in a F250 support vehicle w a tool box full of tools , but I will be there . Arthritis is so bad I don't think I could hold grips long enuf to make the ride .

When I was working at my battle tank factory, all the components affixed to the chassis and exposed to the environment where treated against corrosion. I think Cadmium plated. Support wheels, road wheels, sprockets, tension pulleys...

According to the item description on the AF1 website for the part: We'll see

Well, darn it, along with some much stronger expletives. I cannot be at this inaugural event. I PM'd Joe about it first, and appreciated his kind response. While the details aren't worth relating, it just got too hard to bundle the sKSR with mutton run and trek out to the PNW to wrestle with the grands out there. I really cannot fathom how a 75-YO retired guy and (cradle-robbed, of course ) bride can have calendars without any breathing room between now and August! Then, when it already was getting stressful enough, a sweet aunt in her late '80's (also in Kentucky) who has been an inspirational dynamo of energy for decades, has fallen seriously ill. She asked for us to come in sooner than (an unsaid) later. That tore it. Well, I guess you got the details anyway. Sorry. Joe, I am way more sorry about missing your great event. I am sure there will be pix ... other than the mugshots of course. I and others look forward to seeing them. Bill

I added headlight relays to both my '87 Lemans & '03 Lemans primarily to reduce voltage drop and improve hbar switch longevity. More recently I added H4 LED's to those bikes to reduce charging system load and improve daytime conspicuity. I'm reluctant to ride before sunrise or after sunset anymore but was caught once last Fall after sunset on the '87 with the new LED H4 and was please with the performance. Although I have no idea of how long the bulb will last ...amazon $17. So, I guess we'll see.

I might go to the shop tomorrow and look at the new Mandello- if not tomorrow, next week. I'll try to remember to ask him about the bolt. I'd guess he threw it out. But I'll try to ask.

Actually we can be certain that Guzzi calculated the shear strength required correctly. If the bolt failed in shear, then we would see 2 shear planes, as the bolt is in a double shear clevis. Since the bolt usually fails under the head, or at the first thread on the shank, failure is likely caused by stress corrosion cracking or fatigue. These conditions can lead to a break at very low loads compared to simple shear. We have to stop the rust, as a rust pit is the initiation point for a crack. I believe that a new standard bolt assembled with anti-corrosion jointing compound will last a other 20 years.

Docc yes my front torque bolt was sheared off when I discovered it. Only the nut and a short stub of the sheared bolt remained. Lucky for me the pork chop had the nut and bolt stub captured so they could not fall out and that little bit of luck is what got me and the bike home where I could repair the bike.

Yours reminds me -- perhaps because I am dealing with someone whose location is listed as "UK (Oz)" and who quoted an American -- of this from a 16th century Englishman: The Lawyer makes no plea but for privat profitte, and buildes goodly houses, and purchaseth whole countries about him . . . . The souldiour serves his countrye for a small stypende, and would be contended with alowance but to buie meate, drinke, and cloath. **** [Lawyers] affect eloquence to maintain bad causes; they are studiously affable to procure new clients; they are devilishly subtle to cloak inconveniences. Seeming to be ministers of light, they hunt after continual darkness, concluding the truth within a golden cloude, making blacke white, and white blacke, darkenyng all things with their distinctions that should give light, so that in all things they seem civil, yet in all things they are most uncivil. Barnaby Riche, 1577 Best wishes, Bill P.S. On the merits, maybe Piaggio is right to grab better control of its name, V100's seem to be selling very well. I am even considering -- while looking carefully to see if Kathi, who is sitting next to me can see this -- getting one! I really dont need one, and a Kubota calls a bit louder, but, of course, none of that is important when dealing with moto-lust.

See? Corvettes are meant for sliding sideways. Volvo and V11? Not so much . . .

Hey Pascale...I thought I'd run into you on the road this past weekend, there were lots of riders out, and with 3 days of glorious weather, I clocked 980 miles in total. Managed to get 15 stops in so far, and another 4 scheduled for next weekend. Stops so far: Donie, Groesbeck, Corsicana, Waco, Gatesville, Comanche, Lampasas, Burnet, Johnson City, Fredericksburg (with an obligatory stop in Luckenbach of course!), Bandera, San Antonio, Kingsbury, Hutto, Navasota Next up: Galveston, Blessing, Edna, Cuero In May, will get 3 in Gladewater and nearby Dallas / East Texas to get to 25 stops I hope, while on my way up to Cedar Vale for our Guzzi rally there (join if you are interested...nice 630 mile ride up). Will have to see if I can take a run to Big Bend later in the year...that's a LONG haul. Fun little side note: I'm about a mile away from the museum in Burnet, and I see a white motorcycle coming my way. As it gets closer, it's clearly a white Norge. I turn around about a 1/4 mile down the road, and ride back 1/2 mile, the other guy has turned around. We stop and take off helmets, and what do you know, it's Larry who used to work at MPH a few years ago. Nice bit of happenstance in the middle of Hill Country.

I ordered a set as well for the Café Sport earlier today but I got the regular price ($70)! When I asked Mike about it, he admitted having made a mistake on the price with the earlier order and said he couldn't afford to make that mistake twice - That's ok, I think it's a fair price, especially compared to that of the graphite gaskets. If iirc it had cost ~$100 for Turtle to have a set made almost 20 years ago. Thanks to @dgpmerc for reviving this old thread and bringing this issue back to the forefront. My bike's PO had mention chasing leaks at the headers crossover and replaced the gaskets prior of the sale and told me what a pita it is to remove and re-install the whole exhaust system to replace these gaskets. These shims should solve the leaky/floppy crossover problems and maybe make re-assembly easier and at least more permanent.

If you have to ask......

lol, the discontinued supposed US made pegs, are actually still available from manufacturer in China. https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256801224992024.html?spm=a2g0o.productlist.0.0.4f5a389c7THlOk&algo_pvid=017e19f3-f536-4aef-9d45-9cd4f9be2e36&algo_exp_id=017e19f3-f536-4aef-9d45-9cd4f9be2e36-4&pdp_ext_f={"sku_id"%3A"12000015984275025"}&pdp_npi=2%40dis!SGD!29.09!22.68!!!!!%402101fd4b16716441488185484e61c4!12000015984275025!sea&curPageLogUid=dsZtQ32GidL6 and many other options. I will buy one of these, any opinions, fitment issues, etc? https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256801878422546.html?spm=a2g0o.productlist.0.0.4f5a389c7THlOk&algo_pvid=017e19f3-f536-4aef-9d45-9cd4f9be2e36&algo_exp_id=017e19f3-f536-4aef-9d45-9cd4f9be2e36-0&pdp_ext_f={"sku_id"%3A"12000018610194316"}&pdp_npi=2%40dis!SGD!81.18!43.84!!!!!%402101fd4b16716441488185484e61c4!12000018610194316!sea&curPageLogUid=Kls81MflM66a https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256801221796170.html?spm=a2g0o.productlist.0.0.4f5a389c7THlOk&algo_pvid=017e19f3-f536-4aef-9d45-9cd4f9be2e36&algo_exp_id=017e19f3-f536-4aef-9d45-9cd4f9be2e36-5&pdp_ext_f={"sku_id"%3A"12000015966728817"}&pdp_npi=2%40dis!SGD!34.45!25.83!!!!!%402101fd4b16716441488185484e61c4!12000015966728817!sea&curPageLogUid=zd5sLz1g967S https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256801259800527.html?spm=a2g0o.detail.1000060.3.390c5ebbO26fXi&gps-id=pcDetailBottomMoreThisSeller&scm=1007.13339.291025.0&scm_id=1007.13339.291025.0&scm-url=1007.13339.291025.0&pvid=4357c347-fe42-409c-a4bd-f2bb7a0342c5&_t=gps-id%3ApcDetailBottomMoreThisSeller%2Cscm-url%3A1007.13339.291025.0%2Cpvid%3A4357c347-fe42-409c-a4bd-f2bb7a0342c5%2Ctpp_buckets%3A668%232846%238113%231998&pdp_ext_f={"sku_id"%3A"12000016140396055"%2C"sceneId"%3A"3339"}&pdp_npi=2%40dis!USD!55.21!38.65!!!!!%402101d1ae16716484229634005e72a4!12000016140396055!rec&gatewayAdapt=glo2usa&_randl_shipto=US https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256801251033607.html?spm=a2g0o.productlist.0.0.4f5a389c7THlOk&algo_pvid=017e19f3-f536-4aef-9d45-9cd4f9be2e36&algo_exp_id=017e19f3-f536-4aef-9d45-9cd4f9be2e36-15&pdp_ext_f={"sku_id"%3A"12000016111461765"}&pdp_npi=2%40dis!SGD!30.18!24.15!!!!!%402101fd4b16716441488185484e61c4!12000016111461765!sea&curPageLogUid=J4P35g9oDyld

A set of stainless oval Mistral exhaust from MG Cycles for my 2002 V11 LeMans cost $671.00 They only cost $568.00 from Stein Dinse shipping included.

Earlier this year I foolishly sold my 2003 LeMans. I've regretted it. I offered to buy it back but the new owner declined. When a 2002 Champagne LeMans came along, I jumped. The color has grown on me over the years. It's a 1 year color and I think it makes an elegant GT bike. Especially with some carbon detailing. I want to repaint the tank as it is faded and stained by gasoline overflow. I can have my paint store attempt to match, but if anyone has a better suggestion please let me know. Or perhaps someone has a champagne tank they would part with. (the pic is not my bike .....yet) Mike

In spite of the paint fade issue, I’ve put a set of these on my tank. Thanks for posting on these 4corsa! They do help with the feel of the bike while braking. I’d not really had a concern with this until I graduated from riding in Levi 501’s to some Klim riding pants. Those are some slippery duds! I guess they’re suppose to slide.These tank grips pretty much negate that problem.

S'not your fault Yank banks are even more cretinous than those elsewhere. It was a pain in the quoit for both of us but there was never any I'll will. Being shilled and exploited by smug crooks who are selling stuff they don't understand and stuff that doesn't work? That's different. As far as hopping up V11's is concerned I've never ridden one that comes close to Chuck's Scura which is utterly bonkers. I also don't understand those that get all hung up on HP figures. There are lots of people building or who have built 1400 8V's. Some simply transplant the 1400 donk from the Cali into a different chassis and use the full 7SM/Single throttlebody system, some actually build 1400 barrels and pistons onto a 1200 motor. The one thing that the vast majority of them do is claim stupid, unfeasible, HP figures. Figures that simply aren't possible from an engine with the 8V's heads and cams. When people ask me how much power a 1200 8V makes I'll say 'About 100.' Ask me the same question about the 1400 and you'll get the same answer. The difference isn't really in the peak power, (The 1200 will happily run to 9K. I'd be loath to try that with the 14.) it's in the torque and how it is delivered. The V11 motor is pretty much peaked out as far as longevity is concerned. Yes, you can get it to make more, (Not huge amounts more, but more.) but start pulling much bigger figures and it will loose its reliability and longevity pretty quickly. Pete

"There is no greater satisfaction than to desire that which you already possess." That my Sport could be improved 3-5% is pretty likely, but probably not actually perceptible on my part. To get the 10-15% improvement that I could palpably notice would take some intense, and expensive, changes. Perhaps to the detriment of everyday ride-ability. I am unwilling to make that sacrifice. There is that point that I know I "should" pull the heads, "do" the valves (and guides). "Balance&Blueprint", polish the rods, and otherwise try to honor the original V7 Sport Telaio Rosso race bikes.

Perhaps it is limiting for me, but I have long endeavored to be the poster child for, "Yes, you can make a relatively stock V11 run right. (Even with it's "flawed" mapping and various compromises.)" IMO, as factory Guzzi go, the V11 is already "hotrodded" . . .

As an tangential anecdote; I play with classic cars, and have a good friend in the restoration business. Primarily he's concerned with Chrysler products of the 60s and 70s. One of his regular customers asked if he'd return to service a pristine MG Midget that had been parked for a decade. He asked if I'd help, because I have some experience with English cars and bikes. After the typical fuel system service and fluid changes, it came to life quite easily, all under the criticism of my friend. "Go-cart" "Tiny motor" "Why would anyone bother?". Needless to say, he drove it around for a full week, taking it everywhere including a car show. When I pressed him to admit it was a good time, of course he did; What we isolated as the true source of the fun was that you could drive the car about as hard as you cared to, without risking limb and license. Banging up through third gear with your foot on the floor and the top down is different but almost as good as blowing the tires up on a '70 440 'Cuda, and a lot less likely to attract points to your license. Point being, I spent most of my life searching for performance improvements in everything I ever owned, only to discover that a great deal of it would have been better spent riding what was there instead of working on it. A 'Guzzi is what it is. Trying to make it something else may be fun and satisfying, but if the actual research and development isn't a good time in itself, it isn't worth the loss of actual riding time. I ask myself, "How often am I actually at WOT?" Rarely. I do, however, take the time to fine tune what's there and I separate projects now so I can pursue what I feel like at the moment. <shrug> Defining the ends to our means is important.

Re; high compression pistons. The historic battle within hemispherical combustion chambers is always between compression and detonation. Firstly, in the U.S., the DOT mandates than anything sold for highway use operate on 87 octane fuel without destroying itself. So, if you're willing to use premium always (who doesn't, anyway?) there is a little room for increases. Here's where things get messy. Firstly, tuning an engine to take advantage in the difference between 87 and 93 octane is something only an expert with a dynomometer, or a very experienced butt and ears, can do meaningfully. Secondly, there really isn't that much difference anyway. If you're capable of such, you're also capable of tuning your intake and exhaust, fuel and timing as is to achieve 80% of the difference with such a mild compression increase. Lastly, altitude and camshaft have huge effect on cylinder pressures, particularly at the medium RPM range where detonation is most prevalent. Hemispherical combustion chambers are the most efficient design from the perspective of (2-valve) valve/flow size and efficiency. But they are the worst for detonation. The most effective counter to detonation is turbulence during compression, which achieves 2 specific things; improves homogenization of the mixture which removes 'dead' or 'late' spots in the burn; and speeds completion of burn which removes unburned mixture from corners which overpressure and detonate. Without enormous and expensive changes, there's little we can do with stock Guzzi castings to improve squish, which creates turbulence. What I did on my LM1000 though, was to carefully measure quench-the actual distance between the piston and head- to be certain it was optimized. The term 'quench' is used, because it's known that the fuel/air mix *cannot* ignite within a narrow margin of distance. That distance is somewhere between .050" and .025". It's typically recognized that the worst contained distance for detonation with gasoline is about .080". You can measure your quench with a piece of soft solder through the spark plug hole, to discover to some degree where you are and if taking a little off your cylinders may have some benefit. IIRC I took about .015" off the LM, which raised the compression by about half a point. That said, it has a Web 86b camshaft, which although has far more lift than the stock cam, also creates much more cylinder pressure in the low RPMs. The combination requires that I retard the timing a couple degrees from stock to kill any apparent detonation. Tuning is ongoing, currently. I always read these back before posting, and I'm never sure they convey sufficiently the information. :/

Didn't exactly use the right tools all the time, but you use what you got

Picture of the Le Mans as she is now

RIP, Ivano Beggio

I'd say you need gorilla hands for the 1100 Spot.. but twitchy is a matter of degree. The early V11S turns in a *little* faster, but nothing like the Monza or Lario. 2016-08-18_02-45-05 by Charles Stottlemyer, on Flickr

Let's call them all Spine Frames, so that makes them more brothers than cousins! The different V11 gearbox and frame/geometry transformed the handling nature. Some like(d) it, but a lot did not. Hence the "LongFrame" V11 of 2002-2005(6?) among other changes to tame The Twitchy RedFrame Beastie. The V11 introduction and design was prompted by Aprilia magnate, Ivan Beggio, hearkening (marketing?) to the 1970s V7 Sport heritage while designer, Luciano Marabese, penned the design as an homage to the 1946-52 racing Gambalunga/Gambalunghino using the frame modifications and 6peeder gearbox from the ripened fruit of the days of (DeTomaso's) Dr. John Wittner. Wittner was quoted as saying that the 6speeder gearbox was more about rotating the "polar moment of inertia" than actually needing another cog. This is a technique he found success with in endurance racing with earlier Moto Guzzi designs. (see "Moto Guzzi Big Twins", Greg Field, 1998, MBI Publishing) Quite notable that the new V7-II has a redesigned gearbox to rotate the driveline to take advantage of this "polar moment of inertia" business. EDIT/ December 21, 2018. Upon ScooRoo questioning who asked for the V11 sport design, I re-read the Anima Guzzista interview (translation) and discovered this statement by Luciano Marabese: " . . . the V11 is a motorcycle born from evening to morning. I swear to you. It was my idea, presented [in] Guzzi without being requested."

I put 42000 on mine. The WP suspension was quite good, engine was a sweetheart, if high maintenance.

The front half of the shaft is only removable from the gearbox output with the swingarm off. Otherwise, with the bike supported and rear wheel off, the bevel box comes off easily by pulling the shaft apart (make sure the reference marks are visible or add some). With the front u-joint rotated with the Zerk on top, it may be possible to get some grease in it with all the methods posted above combined with cursing and swearing. And since you've got the cursing and swearing down already, hell, you're halfway there!